Traits of *Super* Great Customers

At TABC On The Fly, we’re servers ourselves, and we know what it’s like in the trenches. Offering you the easiest possible route to getting your TABC certification is one thing we’re honored to do to lighten your load. As a small token of appreciation, we’d also like to commiserate with you a little bit about what we affectionally call “SGCs,” or Super Great Customers. We’re pretty sure you know them when you see them without any additional explanation from us. But just to share a few traits we’ve noticed in SGCs –

 

Super Great Customers…

• Know that sugar packets are actually baby toys.
• Make sure you know you’re supposed to run their gift card *before* their credit card. Thank goodness they clarified that.
• Throw full cups of liquid into the trash.
• Want to know whether the “light” menu versions taste as good as the regular. Guess?
• Make sure to arrive a full ten minutes before closing.
• Ask you to make their drink “strong” when not ordering a double.
• Let you know what they miss on the menu from the last time they came – four years ago.
• Say when leaving, “Enjoy the rest of your weekend!” Sure you will. Sure.
• Ask you to list all 15 types of salad dressing you have, then pick ranch.
• Demand to speak to the manager, not realizing they already are.
• Point out what a gorgeous day it is outside. You won’t be seeing any of it, of course.
• Ask for a refund after eating 80% of their food.
• Are very chatty all through ordering, but sit in complete silence when you call out the name of each plate.
• Try to waive you down while you’re taking someone else’s order.
• Tell you how great you are, but don’t leave a tip.
• Say they don’t need anything when you ask, then flag another server two minutes later to ask for something. Bonus points when the person they flag is your manager.
• Walk out with your favorite pen.
• Point out all the open tables they see when you tell them the wait time.
• Request so many substitutions, they basically redesign the entrée.
• Leave all their chairs out when they leave.
• Only tip on the balance left over after their gift card.
• Get mad at you about upcharges for substitutions. Because that’s totally your call.
• Come with their 12 favorite friends, then act put out that there’s a wait for a table.

We know these are just a few of examples of the toils you deal with every day. Hats off to you, servers and bartenders.

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